Here she is . . . Meet my bff, "Videographer" and Manager, Sue McCain.

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Public Speaking Workshop, Part II, Continued . . .

Q.         How does one master social and public speaking?

 

A.         Treating the public speaking task as a “communication” takes focus off the self and the self performance.

 

Focus on your speech as a “task”, not a performance.  Also, if you treat a speech like a conversation you are less likely to “forget” things and it will feel much more natural.  Use guided imagery, if possible.

 

Q.                 What’s guided imagery?

 

A.                  “Guided Imagery” as defined by Dictionary.com, is:

 

 “An alternative medicine therapy in which the patient uses positive visualizations and thoughts to aid healing and promote reduction in anxiety or pain; also called ‘guided visualization’”.

 

Q.                 What’s an i.e. of “Guided Imagery”?

 

A.                For this writer, an e.g. of this would be mentally envisioning being

           on a beach in the warm sun, waves lapping up on the shore.

 

Side

Bar:      If of course, you are a resident of Michigan, you can start thinking about that this Fall, and by about the third week of August next year, maybe it will be a reality. LOL!

 

Q.         What’s the problem with viewing your speech as a performance like many people recommend?

 

A.        Most speakers with stage fright view speeches as a performance. Viewing it as a “performance” only adds pressure to the scenario and causes extra stress and anxiety.

 

A Key Point to Always Remember:

 

Listeners are interested what you have to say, not how you perform. 

 

Critics?  Yes, there will always be some.

 

Don’t rehearse, it is liable to make you “stiff” and “mechanical” and you may wind up being preoccupied with your body language, and away from knowing the content of your speech.

If your speech is viewed as a formal “talk”, behaviors and body language should be relaxed.

Try to view your speech as a “conversation”.  One you might have with someone on a Saturday afternoon sitting in a sun room and relaxing (See, there’s that guided imagery thing, again).

 

Don’t try to memorize your speech, otherwise you will get caught up in the anxiety about potentially forgetting words, or worse, yet, your place in a speech. 

 

Q.                 What’s one of the big fears a speaker has?

 

A.                 Potential embarrassment.  I think if we could all get past that we would all have public speaking down pat.

 

A.                 Be careful, too, about becoming consumed with anxiety

            and nervousness.

 

Q.                 Why is that so important?

 

A.                  “Rumination” sets in when you are so preoccupied with the anxiety of a social situation that you start to “blank” on simple answers (as is evidenced in test taking where you have studied extensively yet blank out on the exam). 

 

Q.                 What is “Rumination”?

 

A.        Rumination is a psychological process whereby we rehash the same thoughts over and over again and become detrimentally consumed by them to the extent that we cannot think: it is a “mental regurgitation” much like the way cows chew cud.  I know, sounds disgusting, but it happens!  In any event, Rumination, if unrestrained can cost you a speech, a test score, etc.  So, should you feel like you are suffering from that type of thought process perhaps you may want to seek assistance regarding assertiveness training?  Just a thought.

 

Six Ways to Deal with Nervousness:

 

1. Be prepared (find out how much time you have and how long your presentation is to be).
2. Be positive.
3. Use Guided Imagery and Guided Visualization if, indeed, you become too nervous.
4. Expect nervousness, it’s natural!
5. Focus on your audience, not yourself.
6. Experience and repetitiveness, are two ways to over coming public speaking.  In fact, re-exposure to the exact stimuli that frightens you is a/k/a/ in the field of Psychology as “Flooding”. (Flooding is a process whereby a person with a fear or phobia is re-exposed to the particular stimuli which he or she fears until he or she is able to “conquer” that fear).  The goal of flooding is to help the individual, confront and overcome their fears or phobias. 

  Frontiero Tips:

 

1. Never take the advice “Picture your audience in their underwear”, to overcome nervousness.  It may make you have a giddy outburst, not to mention leave you with some visuals you would rather not retain! LOL!
2. Focus on a spot in the wall slightly above the heads of the crowd to which you are speaking. 
3. Place a friend in the middle of the crowd, if need be.
4. Above all, get there early, relax, move around, know your environment and know your audience.
5. If you must speak in a high conflict forum, do not appear early. Rather, go in just before it is your time to speak thereby reducing your anxiety brought about by high conflict environments.  
6. Even experienced speakers get nervous.
7. Nerves do not need to be your enemy.  They can actually contribute much in the way of assisting with animation. 
8. No matter how nervous you are, the only one that knows it, or your material, is you.   Dissolve the illusion or perception then, that the crowd will “know” that you have made a mistake and when you have made it.
9. Tune stressors and drama out (including domestic) for the 24 hour period prior to publicly speaking.  That way you can freely focus on the speech and forget the drama!
10. Be confident. – “Attitude not aptitude determines altitude.”

 Writing The Speech of Your Life:

 

1.       Comes only from you and is therefore uniquely your’s.

2.       Your success depends on your “magic” and delivery.

3.    The “meat” of your message depends upon your efforts of study.  Study makes greatness!

4.    Don’t be afraid to share your “scars”, or your personal “stories”.  It will help both you and your audience feel connected.

5.    Be introspective about your topic.

      6.   Be sincere (which includes being open, candid, frank,

            but not abrasive). 

      7.   Vary your pitch of voice, watch your “ums.”

      8.   Be aware of your body language.

      9.   Know your audience, speak their language!

     10.  Recognize there is no perfect speech unless you are the President

            with a team of speech coaches and even a President has off days.

 

CONCLUSION:

 

1.         Social anxiety, although experienced, may be over come. 

 

2.         Social anxiety about public speaking is very common.

 

3.                   Even though there are obstacles, successful speeches are delivered daily.

 

4.                   In an ever struggling economy, everyone is nervous.  Look at the next two to three years, at the very least, as a practice ground, particularly in light of the fact that society, being unifiably anxious, in general, puts us all on the same playing field.

 

Above all, have fun.  That’s what it’s all about. 

 

The best of luck to you in your speaking endeavors!

 

The subsequent page to this entitled: Social Anxiety Self Help Websites is a Handout from the Workshop, and the Final Page will be dedicated to photos.